Lake Sonoma 06/08/02

How Bad Was the Seeing?

by Rob Mackie

You know the seeing is bad when

You're sure you've discovered a new planet in Cygnus...easily as large as Jupiter and a perfect white disk. David Staples and Dick Vaubel confirmed my find. Dick went on to discover several other planets in his Sky 90. We discussed what to name my planet, "Planet Dildo" (in honor of me) and "Horse's Ass" (to commemorate the horse manure next to which I set up in the Lone Rock lot). We were exultant over these new finds, and could not understand how generations of astronomers missed such obvious additions to our solar system.
You're surprised at the volume of air traffic overhead, and make a game of identifying the various commercial jets. I bagged three 747's, one L-1011, and two Airbuses. Only later when the seeing settled down did I realize that these "jets" were actually satellites passing overhead.
You see a pulsating orange ball in Scorpius. It radiates heat waves like a a piece of red-hot charcoal, and different shades of red show where it's hottest. A new super nova perhaps? A celestial super explosion just now reaching us? You marvel at your luck in bagging yet another important discovery. And you point out to your fellow astronomers that this incredible find is located exactly where one would normally expect to find Antares. Apparently the force of this mighty cataclysm consumed Antares near M4 in Scorpius.

I have not yet decided where to publish my discoveries. My agent is arranging lecture dates, and several prestigious universities have expressed interest.

The seeing may have been bad, but at least the wind chill made us so numb that we didn't care.

What a night!